Mom refuses to take 12-year-old daughter out of advanced math just because her sister-in-law's son will feel "left behind," accuses her of "teaching arrogance" and "valuing academics over family"

Many parents struggle with how to balance encouraging their own child to shine while trying not to upset others in the family. This is most commonly seen among siblings, where parents must support each child's unique strengths while also managing jealousy. While sibling rivalry is one thing, in bigger, close-knit families, extended relatives can sometimes treat a child's success as a threat, complicating the dynamic even further.

One mom recently found herself in the middle of this exact dilemma after her daughter tested into an advanced math class. While she was proud of the accomplishment, her sister-in-law had a very different reaction. Instead of celebrating, she demanded the girl be pulled out to protect her own son's feelings. Suddenly, a milestone that should have been about encouragement and achievement turned into a family feud.

It reminded me of when I did karate as a kid. There were two brothers I practiced with: the younger one, despite being smaller, was incredibly skilled, while the older one was clumsy no matter how hard he tried. Their parents clearly wanted both to succeed, but in different ways. Years later, I found out the younger brother went on to win martial arts awards while the older became a professional dancer. It was proof that success doesn't have to look the same for everyone, and that one child's achievements don't diminish another's.

Author image for Ely Bulnes Ely Bulnes
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