Mom refuses to take 12-year-old daughter out of advanced math just because her sister-in-law's son will feel "left behind," accuses her of "teaching arrogance" and "valuing academics over family"

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    AITA for refusing to take my daughter out of advanced math because her cousin feels "left behind"?

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    My daughter (12F) tested into an advanced math class at school. She loves it and is thriving. My SIL recently called me saying her
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    son (12M, same grade) feels "inferior" because he didn't get in. She asked me to "do the right
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    thing" and request my daughter be moved back into the regular class so the cousins can stay on the same level.
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    S+C
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    I told her that's ridiculous, my daughter shouldn't have to sacrifice her education to soothe her cousin's feelings. SIL accused me of "teaching arrogance" and "valuing academics over family."
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    Even my MIL chimed in, saying "siblings and cousins should rise together, not apart."
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    Now my husband is worried this will cause a family rift. I feel like they're punishing my kid for succeeding.
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    AITA for refusing to pull her from advanced math?
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    Cheezburger Image 10558016768
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    Glass-Armadillo9871 You SIL has a good teaching moment for her son...life is not fair nor equal. Your daughter has talents and gifts her cousin
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    Pristine-Payment If your daughter enters a top-tier university and her cousin enters a community university, would your daughter have to study at the community university?
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    does not have. Her cousin has talents and gifts your daughter does not have. Each should be celebrated and encouraged as individuals. Your SIL and MIL
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    should be ashamed for trying to hold your daughter back. Instead they should help cousin find his talent and celebrate both kids for what they
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    are...individuals. Also tell your hubby if he allows his family to treat his daughter this way he is a massive AHOLE.
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    SuluSpeaks I cant help but notice that a girl is being asked to sacrifice for a boy's comfort.
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    LGA102 I would also add this story- my twins in elementary school tested for a gifted program.
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    One went into the gifted program, the other did not.
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    The one that didn't make it, we had a lot of discussions about working hard and that had a profound impact on his future
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    academics. Not making it into that gift program was the best thing that happened to him.
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    He is now at a top university- he left high school with 16 AP vlasses plus dual enrollment classes.
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    You are right that this is a fantastic teaching moment although it is hard at the time.
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    PoppNibbb Your daughter earned her spot in that class and she deserves to stay there. Holding her back just to make her cousin feel
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    better would only hurt her progress. Family should celebrate her success, not punish her for it.
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    RandomCoffeeThoughts If your daughter makes six figures at her job, does she need to turn it down and work a job that makes the same amount? If he somehow
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    Cheezburger Image 10558017024
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    becomes injured, does she need to hurt herself to be fair? This is absurd. I can guarantee this wouldn't happen if the situation was reversed.
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    perroblanco NTA. Do not tolerate this for a second. Do not tolerate it from your husband ESPECIALLY.
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    ErisianSaint NTA. They're asking your daughter to shrink herself so their son can feel bigger. Maybe he should just do the work instead.

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